NFL: Week #2 Review

Here's how the NFL seems to be shaping up so far.

Arizona Cardinals: They have a new stadium.

Atlanta Falcons: I wanted to pick the Falcons to finish 3rd in the NFC South, because even though their pass defense is sick, I thought their run defense would get tore apart and their offense would be awful. It seemed that trading TJ Duckett would be a bad idea because Warrick Dunn is going to get worn out. But I guess Mora got desperate and allowed Vick to play like Vick. So they should be successful until they run up against a team that runs it down their throat and contains Vick. But I don't know who that is this season. Or when Vick goes down with an injury.

Baltimore Ravens: The Ravens are playing just like they should. I don't know why anyone doubted this team would be good. Jamal Lewis is nasty, and it was only his stint in the pen that set him back last season. And McNair is an absolute champ. If they can keep him healthy, they will be almost unstoppable.

Buffalo Bills: How did Buffalo beat Miami? I mean the Dolphins aren't good, but J.P. Losman is quarterbacking the Bills. I expect Losman to turn into some sort of Jake Plummer character someday. And McGahee is on my fantasy team, so you know he ain't scoring any touchdowns.

Carolina Panthers: They seem to suck really. Steve Smith is making a case for MVP by getting injured. It's amazing how awful their offense is without him.

Chicago Bears: The Bears are absolutely nasty. I never understood why the team was so committed to Rex Grossman through all his injuries. Now I think I get it.

Cincinatti Bengals: Palmer is my fantasy quarterback, so expect them to have a rough season. Even though it really looks like their offense is shaking off some rust. But that Pollack injury is just tragic, I wish the best for him. That said, their defense might be in trouble. Hopefully that means they will be trying to come from behind and forced to throw it around and abandon the running game.

Cleveland Browns: I don't like Kellen Winslow, Jr. And now I can say that because he's playing again. Charlie Frye though huh? This could be interesting.

Dallas Cowboys: Their defense is real good. But TO broke his finger. Which may not really matter at all. Bledsoe ain't getting anymore mobile though. Good luck with that. But thanks for taking my Redskins down on your way to irrelevance.

Denver Broncos: The QB controversy is a disaster. Plummer is straight shook right now and the boobirds are out in Denver. I admit, I want to see what Cutler can do, but everyone has got to stop that talk right now. The Cos are competing for a Super Bowl, and you can't throw a rookie in there. Plummer started off last year in almost the exact same way. But last year he had clownshoes-wearing BVP backing him up, so he could relax. Not so this year. I'm surprised that the Sports Guy absolutely called that this would happen. The defense is playing fantastic right now, and if the Cos can get anything going on offense, they should start rollin. Please play Tatum more.

Detroit Lions: The Lions aren't very good. But their coach seemed to get them fired up to play that first game. This week they played the hottest team in the NFL though, so I guess it isn't fair to judge them. You will struggle against Chicago.

Green Bay Packers: The Brett Favre thing is a nightmare. I'm glad this isn't my team. I love Favre, but this is clearly rebuilding time for the Packers. Shouldn't Rodgers be getting a chance to play while there isn't any pressure on him? Then again, the Packers could just turn into the Texans North while Rodgers makes the highlights getting drilled from the blindside a record number of times. Favre knows how to get out the way, and their line is bad.

Houston Texans: It would be awesome to have Reggie Bush around right now. Luckily they play some bad teams this year, so it won't be a total disaster. Actually, maybe it will be.

Indianapolis Colts: Manning is going nuts again, and their defense seems pretty solid. Their running backs aren't getting enough credit though. The Edge was worn out, and now they split time between Rhodes and Addai. Addai seems to be learning quickly, and is good at pass protection and catching balls out of the backfield. I think he'll replace everything James gave them by the end of the year. And they added Vinatieri. And the NFL wants Peyton Manning to be in the Super Bowl so desperately that they will stop at nothing. Including sabotaging his little brother in their high profile match-up. The offensive pass interference call on Tim Carter on that enormous third-down play goes on the shortlist of absolutely bullsh*t NFL calls that make me question the integrity of the game. If there isn't a conspiracy, then why is Peyton in so many commercials? He sounds as dumb as he looks, and we know he's not that nice of a guy, so what's the appeal? I'll tell you what it is...a conspiracy.

Jacksonville Jaguars: Leftwich is a winner, and he's got plently of targets. Their defense is wicked. And they always play with heart. But if Fred Taylor goes down, they have issues. They got the job done against Pittsburgh and that's all you can ask for.

Kansas City Chiefs: Sad about Trent Green. But it seems like Herm Edwards has fired them up on defense. They aren't in that much trouble. But Herm Edwards is also a numbskull, so they aren't a scary team.

Miami Dolphins: Guess what? Culpepper sucks. Always has.

Minnesota Vikings: I'm not excited about this because they took out my Redskins, but it is good to see a team that is trying to do the right things. They got rid of Culpepper, who is way worse than anyone thinks he is, and tried to get rid of other bad characters on the team. Childress rolled in and brought discipline to the team, and they are having success. Good to see. The win against the Panthers was fairly shocking. But remember, they've played two teams who are struggling mightily offensively right now.

New England Patriots: I'm so damn tired of the New England Patriots. I wish for them to lose every game now. I used to love Belichick, but now it seems like hubris that they would let so many vital players go. I expect them to have an ultimately disappointing season, and we won't have to hear about them anymore. Even though they have the world's easiest schedule.

New Orleans Saints: This is a good story and I'm happy to see them playing well. They are my upset pick for next week. Of course, they haven't played a real NFL team yet. And their defense made Brett Favre look like Brett Favre again. But between Brees, Deuce, Bush, Horn and Devery Henderson on offense, they could make some noise.

New York Giants: Eli is getting really good, really fast. Tiki is playing huge. They've got Burress, Toomer and Shockey to throw to. Brandon Jacobs is becoming a beast. The Eagles win was the kind of win that sets a tone for the whole season. Huge confidence builder.

New York Jets: Chad Pennington is standing in there, and that's impressive. But they might be the most irrelevant team in the NFL. Which is odd for a team in such a big market. I don't understand the Jets.

Oakland Raiders: Now, the Raiders were supposed to suck, but they are absolutely terrible. They might set some sort of records for futility. I couldn't be happier either. This a disaster, and its hilarious to behold. Shell is horrible. Randy Moss is going to freak out in a legendary way at some point in the season. Oh man they suck.

Philadephia Eagles: This is just like last year. McNabb looking like an awesome quarterback for scrambling around and making plays. But then he starts forcing things and starts getting popped and the season ends up like last year. Now Kearse is out for the season. The Eagles are gritty, but still.

Pittsburgh Steelers: Their offense misses Randle-El and the Bus, I promise you. That defense will keep them competitive, like how they bended against the Jaguars but didn't break. But that offense is no good, even with their line. No repeat.

San Diego Chargers: Sneaky, very sneaky. This team, despite Marty, looks dangerous right now.
They worry me. But Philip Rivers will soon realize how not awesome it is to have Keenan McCardell as his #1 wideout.

San Francisco 49ers: They look competitive. Alex Smith is throwing the ball nicely, and their offense has some excitement. Still they haven't been tested yet. But they did throw the "worst team in the NFL" tag across the Bay.

Seattle Seahawks: I have no idea why they are struggling on offense so badly. Maybe its Hutch, I don't know. But you need to be able to light up the Cardinals. And definitely the Lions. What is going on? Their defense is getting it done though. Something is rotten though.

St. Louis Rams: After beating the Broncos, they reverted back to their sucky selves. Thanks.

Tampa Bay Bucs: My bro told me before the season that Chris Simms is awful. He's right. But I've never been impressed with the John Gruden offense. And their defense is good but old. Man, they look awful.

Tennessee Titans: Vince Young has the chance to play without expectations. That's a good thing I guess. I just don't know how this team fell apart so quickly. I guess everyone just got old all of a sudden. No Kearse, McNair, George, Mason, Tank Williams, nobody. This team is horrible. LenDale White is horrible. Vince Young is horrible. The Titans are horrible. I'm biased on this though, because I think that Vince Young could at best be Aaron Brooks. But I'll think he'll be more like Eric Crouch. The Argonauts should keep an eye on Vince's progress.

Washington Redskins: This is the most painful start I could imagine. Their offense is miserable. I heard all the talk that it would take some time to install Al Saunders' offense, which is extremely complicated and based on timing routes and precision. But I didn't think it would be this bad because the Skins were going to merge his offense with Gibbs'. But Gibbs said that teams are sitting back in umbrella coverage because they don't fear the Redskins rush game. It shows how important Portis is to the offense, because he's capable of the home run on every play. The offensive line doesn't seem to understand their assignments on pass coverage, which is bad news. But d-lines are also teeing off on them because Ladell Betts doesn't scare anyone. Getting Portis back should fix a lot of problems for the Redskins, and they could put together a devasting running attack by alternating Portis and Duckett. Duckett needs a lot more carries right now though, and he's not getting them. Their defense is playing up to expectations for the most part, and I love the attitude they bring, but I'm doubtful Sean Taylor is going to play every game for them this season. He's a fantastic safety, but he's a suspension waiting to happen. Once the league tags you with the "headhunter" label, you're in trouble. I'm also a little worried that John Hall will lose them some games. He kicks a disturbing amount of knuckleballs. I'm real worried for this season. But next season is a guaranteed Super Bowl. I hope that if things continue to go south for the Skins that Campbell could get some experience.